Any motivational quote that contains the word " Misery" has to try harder. But then again, truth will out...
Running and I go way back, to when I first moved to the UK about 11 years ago.
I lived in a small flat just by the Southend Seafront, and realised that my total amount of physical activity each day amounted to the 3 minutes walk to the train station 4 times a day. That is right - I'd spend approximately 12 minutes a day not on my sofa, on a train or in a swivel chair.
Bliss. But not sustainable. So I signed up for the Adidas Women's 5k challenge in 2009. Because I thought anyone could just run 5k. I mean, it's not like it could be hard...
My very first training run should definitely feature in the upcoming film "the public humiliation of Anna G." Also possibly in the book "the top 10 least thought through ideas of Anna G." Here is how it went:
After years of absolute slothfulness, I set my alarm for 5am, walked down to the waterfront and started running. "This is not so bad" I thought, "it's actually quite lovely. I wonder why I haven't done this before." And don't get me wrong, the Southend waterfront is a very peaceful place at 5am, and on a summers' morning when the fresh breeze makes the threatening heat of the day bearable, running may almost seem enjoyable.
I waved joyously at dog walkers and smiled broadly at fellow runners. "Look at us, us running types." I ran for about 500m, to the Casino, and that was when a number of things happened simultaneously:
- My lungs exploded. Now, some may accuse me of hyperbole, but I can only recall the facts as they happened and it definitely felt like my lungs were combusting into fireworks of pain.
- My stomach protested against having been tortured in such a way and without nourishment by demanding a visit to the toilet. An immediate visit.
- My legs seized up and refused to take another step.
My salvation, or so I thought, came in the form of a group of cleaners who were just closing up the Casino after their shift. "Could I please very quickly use your toilets pretty please pretty urgently please and thank you?" "No." "Ah, OK, thank you please and thank you, could you get me a sip of water please?" "No." "Uhhm, Ok, not thank you, but please could you call me a taxi, I cannot move, please and then maybe thank you?". "No."
That was the day I lost all faith in humanity - but regained faith in my body, that for some reason ( sheer indignation?) just got its act together. It was like "ooooh I'm dying - wait - no, my mistake, let's go home."
Over the coming weeks my distance and speed did improve slightly, but as with the many things that I do with full gusto and without guidance, I ended up by the first aid tent during the course of the actual 5k run. Because, you may not have heard this before, but apparently running on a hot summer's day without drinking or eating all day (I didn't want a heavy stomach to slow me down) is not ideal.
After that, I tied up my running laces and joined The Locker Room. A gym for boxers. Long story. It didn't end well.
This was until I moved into an even lovelier flat in an even lovelier location along the waterfront. By this point I had changed job and spent most of my days at my desk or in my car, fuelled by cans of coke and bags of m&ms. Before you judge, I did switch to Maltesers when they became fairtrade.
During that time, I really struggled with sleep, headaches and funny kind of not-quite-migraines. It seemed the only way to get relief was to go out and jog it off, and one would think that I would have learnt a lesson there.
Since then, running has come a long way. A number of friends have been nothing but positive about C25k, and social media is full of photos of people doing fun runs sponsored runs, muddy runs, colour runs...there is no shortage of inspiration and opportunity.
For me, the most appealing recent developments in the running world have been parkrun and GoodGym:
- Park run is free and available pretty much everywhere in the country. Once you have registered online you are free to run along, guided by volunteer marshals who will make sure that no runner comes last.
https://www.parkrun.org.uk/
- GoodGym is a community of runners who carry out charity- and community tasks. A typical session might involve meeting up, a brief warm up, running for a previously publicised distance, carrying out a task such as litter picking or gardening, running back to the starting point and finishing off with a short circuit session.
https://www.goodgym.org/
I'll join both of them when I can run 5k without convulsing. Don't hold your breath.
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| Post-run GoodGym circuit plank. Hat & Gloves courtesy of Kathryn, because who would be prepared for the cold in January. |
So is that first, hardest step, worth taking?
1. It's a sport you can take up with next to no expenses:
- A pair of good trainers (I got mine after a gait analysis due to ongoing ankle problems) will be your key tool.
- If you do think that you might try it more than once, I'd invest in a good pair of running trousers. Nothing worse than having to breathe and move and think and pull up your trousers at the same time.
- If you're a woman: Sports bra. Do it.
2. Figure out if you're better on your own or in a team. There are a number of running groups, from runny mummy to gutty goers (I made these up - but only a little bit.) So if you feel that the encouragement of others around you would spur you on, get in touch. There will be a group somewhere near you that is designed exactly for you. If, like me though, your biggest hurdle is embarrassment, run after sun set. In the side streets. On your own (if it's safe), or on a treadmill. I have not run since I went with a friend who timed me at 11 minutes a km out of shame- it's a massive hurdle for me, and something I have to manage.
3. Plan your eating and drinking. Make sure you leave a good amount of time after a big meal before going out, but have a snack (bananas are often recommended). Ensure you are well hydrated in advance, and you may not need to carry water for short runs.
4. Don't spend all your money at once. I have bought a runner bum bag, a phone-carry-arm-strap, light reflectors, ear phones... only to realise that any thing in any way additional aggravates me so much that I feel like ripping it off. The only future investment I might make is a pair of leggings with a phone pocket.
5. Whilst running apps and schedules can be hugely helpful, remember that you are doing it at your speed. There are plenty of forums online of people discussing their struggles, and on days where you may feel down they are truly worth a read. Need to repeat a week? Got a silly comment from a passer by? Do not let it get to you, it takes a brave person to step outside and give it a go. Clearly, a braver person than me.
6. The running community is truly lovely. On more than one occasion I have found myself lifting my eyes from the path ahead of me to be met with a breathless smile or a curt nod. They get it. There was one particular evening where I had tried so hard to reach my goal that I didn't realise I had been talking to myself. "Keep.... going... past.. the... bus stop...don't give up... don't give up..." when I suddenly heard a voice coming from a dark door way: "That's right darlin', you don't give up, you keep going...". The guy threw away his cigarette, gave me a thumbs up with a broad smile and left me with the fuel for another 200m.
7. I recently read a great piece of advice which I think could be applied to any form of physical activity for newbies, but particularly for newbie runners: When you come home from work, put on your work out gear. If nothing else, you'll feel comfi. But best case scenario, the muse might kiss you and you find yourself running around the block. It's much less likely to happen if you first have to get out of your pjs...
Well... writing all of this out loud has reminded me that it really is high time to give it another go...
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