Cue sad music whilst I try to hide my glee about the fact that I am not avoiding going for a run, I am simply not allowed to... Times are tough, my friends, times are tough.
I jest that physical activity has a detrimental effect on my health, but I'll be honest, it's been sub-optimal.
Enter stage left my best husband, who for some reason has not entirely enjoyed my phase of watching repeat episodes of Midsummer Murders with a face full of woe. In a brave attempt to cheer me up, he highlighted how well I had done in sticking with the blog. So I had to begrudgingly admit that I was still missing 8 letters. One of them of course my arch nemesis: Q.
And so the thorough research began. I say thorough - there aren't that many sports to research. Once we'd established that there is definitely no known Quidditch team within easy reach, the prohibitive cost of half an hour on a quad bike and that the website for the East Anglian Quoits Association is a couple of centuries out of date, we were left with only one plan of action: Quads.
(Or Roller Skates - but that doesn't work for the blog, so we'll keep calling them quads.)
We chose what is likely to be the last warm and sunny day of 2019 to drive to Colchester, where for just under £13 per person you can gain access to the rink, hire a pair of retro quads and receive an informative leaflet:
The place reminded me of a bowling alley - perhaps it's the eau - de - sweaty - shoes?
This might be the time where I'll have to admit that my last attempt in skating is not quite as long ago as decency would have you think. Of course I was about 10 when I was last told off by my mum for trying to skate downhill through the village to school, rather than walking at a safe pace past the farms. (All the other kids were allowed to skate... some even had bikes. Just saying.)
But it will come as a surprise to everybody, including my then-housemate sister, that I did in fact own a pair of white Britney Spears endorsed roller skates in 2003. At the age of 20, in Business School.
The reason no-one knew about this is because - despite my deep conviction that I'd make it big in the skating world - I suspected that some people might find it slightly amusing. And so I hid the skates in the wardrobe. Once the roads (and my sister) surrendered to the quiet of the night, I'd sneak out and made best possible use of the car-park of the printing business nearby. I even mastered pirouettes.
All these memories came flooding back as I gingerly approached the smooth wooden surface of the rink. I expected to find myself sitting down within the first few minutes, but I do think my clandestine practising all these moons ago yielded results. I soon found myself swishing round and round the oval rink, deftly avoiding toddlers hanging on to the rail.
You may think that spending over an hour just drifting around the same rink might be boring, and it might be if it was not for the on-task resident DJ. Emotional highlights included "I want it that way" (I did just about stop myself from performing the dance routine I'd learnt in secondary school, although I think it would have looked better on skates), a sudden change skating of direction (I know! The crowd loved it!) and of course, regular use of the smoke machine. There were even some flashing lights, which lead some sugar-hyped-up 10 year - olds to ignore the instruction to keep to a sensible speed.
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| My best husband who probably secretly doesn't really care about the blog but really wanted to go skating. |
I'll not pretend that I have any idea about the physical benefits of roller skating - I'm sure they are manifold if you do it regularly, and I saw some amazing jumps and trick performed by people who clearly didn't practice under the light of a fading street light. I know that this won't be something that I'd take up as a regular sport. But it was great fun, and another reminder that being physically active does not have to include squats, just as much as having a fun day does not have to involve a screen.
However, just because I like bullet points, there are a couple of things worth listing:
- I was amazed at the resilience of the children. No matter how slow the progress, the number of tears and pain of the fall, they all got up again and kept going. Round and round and fall and up and round and fall and hold and up... It made me wonder: At what age do we start giving up?
- There were some real lessons in kindness on the rink. Chatting to a Lady who was there with her older Teenage daughter, she explained that it was the girl's second attempt. Struggling with her weight, the daughter wanted to try out an exercise that she could do on her own, at her own speed. The Lady pointed at the tall girl at the opposite side of the rink, hanging on to the rail, painfully moving one foot in front of the other. How brave, to keep going when it's hard, when everyone around you is younger and faster and makes you feel like you're in the way. And how lovely, for the mum on the sideline watching on. "I'm just here to support. I just help her on and off the rink, but she wants to try on her own." You go, nameless mum and daughter team.
- Of course there were a number of parents holding their children's hands to stop them from falling (or, less successfully, crashing into people). But there were a number of sets of young adults, a young couple for instance or a set of girlfriends, where it was clear that one was teaching and guiding whilst the other one was faltering and hanging on for dear life. More than in any other sport that I have witnessed so far have I seen the strongest ones pushing / pulling / supporting / guiding the beginners. And for me, that definitely out-cools the pink flashlights and the Backstreet Boys.
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| Tell me why...Ain't nothing but a heartache, Ain't nothing but a mistake, I never want to hear you say: I waaant it thaaat way! |
